The Wonders of Autism

Not long ago I received a message on my Facebook page in which the writer eluded to my son 'suffering with autism'. I don't know why, but it struck a raw nerve with me. It's a fine line that I must walk - on the one side, autism does change the parents and families and most of the changes aren't positive. On the other hand, I don't know if suffering is the right word.

First of all - I don't think there is much suffering as far as my son is concerned. The word implies way too much environmental awareness, one of his major delays. So instead of lamenting the many negative things, I would like to discuss some of the actually cool things about having a child with autism.

1. No peer pressure. I don't ever have to worry about my son asking me for an XBox, iPhone, Diddy jeans or sneakers that would put me in debt for months. He just doesn't care. About what his peers think about what he's wearing, listening to or playing with. There are no 'gotta have's' in his book other than the things he's obsessing on at the moment. In fact - the day that he does bow to peer pressure will be the day that I consider him recovered.

2. If 'cool' is defined by this lack of concern about appearance, then our kids are the coolest on the planet. They (generally speaking) just don't care what you think about them. My son not long ago walked out of public restroom with his pants around his ankles because he left his iPod on the table and just had to listen to his latest favorite song while he took care of his business. Note: I gave him my old iPod and he was perfectly happy with it, including all of my music. He could have cared less about the gaping jaws and gasps of surprise - he had a need and he took care of it. Period

3. My son can't lie to save his own life. In fact, if he does something that he knows I won't be happy with, he will rat himself out before I find out what he's done. Example - eating too many chips is a constant struggle. If he finds a bag lying around and consumes the entire bag, he will inevitably come to me with a trail of chips following behind like he's leaving clues to find his way home - and announce - "Don't eat too many chips. No - it will make your stomach hard." Gotta love him. Of course now I can't exactly tell him that he can't have anymore chips cause he's already eaten them and informed me that he sees the errors of his ways and has repented. What's a mom to do.

4. He still give me hugs and kisses in public. No matter who is around. My daughter stopped giving PDA by the time she was in 2nd. grade. Nuff said.

5. He likes my music. I don't have to worry about him blasting the latest gangsta rap tune full blast in my car. He prefers smooth jazz, soft rock, old school R & B and even music recorded before I was born. Seriously - Dean Martin, Billie Holliday, Bobby Darin, Frankie Lymon, even Old Blue Eyes aka Frank Sinatra - are on his (and my) iPod. Sorry P Diddy, 50 Cent, Lil Wayne - move over for the Brat Pack.

6. He does not bully or even understand the concept of bullying, fighting or generally tormenting others. He watches more than his fair share of action/adventure movies, but does not take it into his personal life. So much for that theory that aggressive movies translate into aggressive behaviors with my son, and I would venture to guess our kids. Now if you grab his french fries, iPod while he's listening, he'll probably snatch them back without so much as a glance back. But he won't cuss you out or strike out at you.

7. He rarely gets sick. Despite the fact that his diet is deplorable and he doesn't think about jackets, shoes or socks - he rarely catches a sniffle. When he does get sick, be it a cold or queasy stomach, it's over usually before I can even get an appointment to our primary care doctor. If he eats too many chips, fries or ice cream, he barfs and feels better as soon as he's done. And he doesn't seem to be able to get dizzy - ever, no matter how much he spins.

Now admittedly - there are many, many things that can aggravate you to distraction about autism in general and my son's particular brand. I would also love to go back to the days of coping with the typical pre-teen issues that plagued my daughter. In fact - I'm looking forward to one day having these issues with my son. I will glory in the day that he cares what his friends think, because it will tell me that he wants friends. I'm looking forward to his first intentional lie, because it will tell me that he is developing those critical 'theory of mind' skills that he is so lacking today. In the mean time, I will enjoy the completely oblivious, lovey-dovey son that I have today, all the while looking out for those signs that he is becoming more and more aware and more and more like a typical teen.