A Different World

Today I had a most pleasant surprise, one that has left me more than a little hopeful that my son will have a place in this world when he is an adult. We’re in Portland, OR for a much deserved trip earned for giving his all on his track team and for running the 75 yard dash with a time of 10:49 and in 3rd to last place. For me it was like winning the Bronze medal in the Olympics, especially in comparison to where my son was earlier this year.

Running does not come natural for my son. Like many children with autism, his motor planning is delayed and he does not coordinate his legs and arms for smooth running and speed. It was only with 6 weeks of practice with the team and with his home aid, combined with the occasional dance lesson that he was finally able to put the two together to reach his top speed.

Today was uplifting though because of the experience we had in a local IHOP – my son’s favorite place for pancakes. Even though he has been to our IHOP numerous times, today’s outing was still questionable, because it wasn’t ‘our’ IHOP and usually the slightest change in routine can bring on anxiety for both my son and me. This trip was no different in the beginning – since it was crowded, we had to wait for a table. Morgan watched plate after plate of pancakes parade in front of him and I could feel him getting impatient. At one time he wandered over to the waiter’s corner and seemed just about to snatch a pancake off a plate. Right about this time the hostess came over and led us to our table. The waiting wasn’t done yet, however. Morgan wanted to know ‘how long’. When she told me that it would be 20 minutes at least, I cringed and saw Morgan frown, but sat down to wait. Not 5 minutes later, the manager came over and told me that he would have our order rushed and we got our food shortly thereafter. That was the miracle – the manager noticed my son’s anxiety and did something about it. That’s it – sounds simple enough, but I can’t tell you how many times in the past we’ve been forced to just wait – a simple act for many, but pure torture for my son and thereby for me.

The miracle continued however. My son is as large as a typical 10 year old (though he’s 12) but still can’t manage to cut his own food into bite sizes. He also hums and babbles quite a bit – I’ve become accustomed to it, but many people who don’t know him are often taken aback. I’ve also gotten used to the stares and whispers. Today there were no whispers and stares, instead a few moms actually smiled at Morgan and tried to engage with him. After our meal, Morgan went back to our table and stroked a woman’s cheek and she didn’t cringe, but instead said hello and told him what a good boy he was. Amazing. Nobody cringed, no one stared, and no one complained or pulled their children away like my son was contagious or afraid. I was calm and relieved and actually was able to finish my meal in relative peace.

I don’t quite know how to explain it - I believe it is a combination of things. I am better in how I handle my son in public. People are more aware of autism and the quirks and habits that it brings. Maybe even more of them have children with autism of their own – nieces, nephews, grand’s and great grand’s. I do know that the rate of autism is even higher in Oregon than in Washington State, if you believe the Department of Education statistics. I’m also sure that my son has a large part to do with it – he is calmer, better able to wait and understand his environment. Whatever – I am truly grateful and also more hopeful. Now if I could just get the school district to be at least as generous.